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All sources are quoted, credited and linked to the original article.

Decicated to poking fun at all things famous. No celebrity is safe from the tv terrorist. Gossip, make fun, Humour, Joke, Free,

Celebrity Quotes. Celebrities say the dumbest things!

This is a list of celebrity quotes collected from around the net. It must be difficult being a celebrity, having every word scrutinized and twisted beyond recognition. Although they do say some pretty stupid things every now and then. Guess we are all human. Enjoy!

 
  • Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.»
    - Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

  • "You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin." - Laura Dern, actor, about the special effects in the movie Jurassic Park.


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  • I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
    - Milos Forman, Film director

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  • The internet is a great way to get on the net.»
    - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

     

  • You guys, line up alphabetically by height.»
    - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

     

  • I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.»
    - Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)


     


     

  • I think war is a dangerous place.»
    - George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. (May 7, 2003)

     

  • I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.»
    - Greg Norman, Golfer

     

  • It's nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he'll bring a drill or something.»
    - Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college

     

  • Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.»
    - Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal

     

  • These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up.»
    - Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player

     

  • I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid.»
    - Paris Hilton (December 2003)

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  • My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.»
    - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.

     

  • The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President



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  • And now the sequence of events in no particular order.»
    - Dan Rather, television news anchor


     

  • Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.»
    - George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000



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  • The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.»
    - Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

     

  • I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost.»
    - Frank Bruno, Boxer

     

  • I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.»
    - George Bush

     

  • I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.»
    - George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season

     

  • I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.»
    - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

     

  • The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.»
    - Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
     


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  • Half this game is ninety percent mental.»
    - Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager


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  • Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.»
    - Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.

  • Facts are stupid things.»
    - Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President

     

  • What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

     

  • That's just the tip of the ice cube.»
    - Neil Hamilton, BBC2

     

  • A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.»
    - Samuel Goldwyn

     

  • I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.»
    - Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer

     

  • It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

     

  • I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.»
    - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
     


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  • The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.»
    - Sylvestor Stallone, Actor

     

  • Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.»
    - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

     

  • We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
     

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  • Will the highways on the internet become more few?»
    - George W Bush, Concord, New Hampshire, (29th January 2000)

     

  • Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.»
    - Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian cabinet minister

  • «Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.»
    - Mickey Rivers, baseball player

     

  • «I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

  • Put the 'off' button on.»
    - George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000

     

  • So Carol, you're a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?»
    - Michael Barrymore

     

  • Food is an important part of a balanced diet.»
    - Fran Lebowitz, US writer

     

  • We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?»
    - Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation

     

  • For NASA, space is still a high priority.»
    - Dan Quayle
     


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  • He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.»
    - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer

     

  • If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.»
    - George Gobel

     

  • If only faces could talk...»
    - Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

     

  • Every minute was more exciting than the next.»
    - Linda Evans, actress

     

  • I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me.»
    — Jessica Simpson

    "    Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'" - Jessica Simpson

     

    Some more

    "You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin." - Laura Dern, actor, about the special effects in the movie Jurassic Park.

    “If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?” - Cynthia Heimel, Author

    “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.” - Doug Collins, basketball commentator

    “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger, California Governor and actor

    “I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents.” - George Wallace 1968 presidential campaign

    "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." - Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece 

    "The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." - Dwight Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States.

    "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'" - Jessica Simpson

    "When I see someone who is making anywhere from $300,000 to $750,000 a year, that's middle class." - Fred Heineman, former Republic representative from North Carolina

     

    "I'm not Jacko, I'm Jackson... 'Wacko Jacko' - Where did that come from? Some English tabloid. I have a heart and I have feelings. I feel that when you do that to me, it's not nice." - Michael Jackson

     

    "That's not a place where I'm considered good-looking." - Mark Hoppus, founding member of the pop punk band blink-182, on why he's never been to Kenya.


     "A verbal contract isn't worth the  Hollywood
    movie producer.

     

    "A proof is a proof. What kind of proof? It's a proof. A proof is proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it is proven." - Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien

    "To me, the greatest book of all time is "The Bible" because there's some religious stuff in it!" - Jim Rosenberg, author.

    "I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there, it's so petty." - Imelda Marcos, former First Lady and a political figure in the Philippines.

     

     

     

    "We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover." - Parish Magazine

     

    "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean." - Basepall Player Pedro Guerrero on reporters.


    "Acting is easier and smoother than singing - it's less drama." - Beyonce Knowles, singer and actress.

    "Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding." - Mickey Rivers, baseball player.

    "I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5." - Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player

    "People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius." -  Jerry Lewis, comedian

    "Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it? - Harry News, music reviewer

    "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me." - Andre Dawson, former professional baseball player, on being a role model

    "The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate


    "Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets." - British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea


    "For most people, death comes at the end of their lives." - Radio broadcaster, UK

    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey

    "I wouldn't run for president. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house." - Bono, lead singer, U2


    "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Greg Norman, Golfer


    "Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

     

    "I have the stardom glow." - Jennifer Lopez, singer

    "The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean, former professional baseball player

    "A bachelor's life is no life for a single man." - Samuel Goldwyn, early Hollywood movie producer.


    "Half this game is ninety percent mental." - Danny Ozark, Phillies manager


    "Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is." - Ron Fairley, Giants' broadcaster

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