The best movies Of 2008
The
Dark Knight
Incredible! The first time you
see it. Pretty darn good the second
time and ok the third. I think the
first time I saw
the dark knight I
was so shell-shocked by the
disappearing pencil scene that the
rest of the movie was a real
experience.
Heath Ledger was
phenomenal as
the joker and really
does deserve the Oscar nomination.
Interesting to compare
Ledger with
Jack Nicholson in
Tim Burtons 1989
version of the series, Next to the
new
Joker,
Old Jack looks like a
rubber faced clown with an
embarrassing physical affliction.
With the new
Joker, Ledger plays a
serious psycho. Well worth buying
the limited edition gold plated Box
set!
5
stars
Best Bit – The disappearing pencil
scene
High Budget / Low budget style
movie in the vain of
the Blair Witch
Project. Where an alien Batzilla
type monster, that seems to shed the
things out of
starship troopers is
destroying New York. People that get
bitten explode! Man that’s cool! And
a very good reason not to get bit.
It could have very easily been
really stupid but it seemed to cover
itself quite well and didn’t go
retarded like so many movies in its
genre. Not bad at all. But not as
good as the first time I watched
Blair witch. Oh and it all looks
like it was shot by my dad, he never
puts that damn camera down!
4
stars
Best Bit – When the one character
gets bit, and she explodes!
Wall E was destined to turn us all
into robot loving fruits with lumps
in our throats. The adorable
mechanoid touched our hearts with
pixar’s finest release since
Finding Nemo. There is very little dialog in
Wall E and most of the scenes are
synchronized to music. There is
however the voice of
Jeff Garlin at
some point. This brings back fond
memories of
curb your enthusiasm as
Jeff Garlin played
Larry David’s
agent in the series.
Wall E is an
instant classic for the whole family
and should be enjoyed for years to
come. It will be interesting to see
what Pixar comes up with next. I
remember seeing test “teasers” for
Wall E about 5 years ago.
5
stars
Best bit – The whole thing was
absolutely great!
What an amazing movie. Mexican
salad dodger
Guillermo “Bullfighter”
del Toro, (The guy that did Pan’s
Labyrinth) Does an awesome job on
this fantasy adventure.
Ron Pearlman
delivers
Hellboy as only
Pearlman
can. And some of the new characters
are really awesome. Johann Krauss is
a brilliant character addition and
Selma Blair is always a pleasure to
look at. An excellent storyline that
actually means something in today’s
mixed up world. Much better than the
first
Hellboy movie.
5
stars
Best Bit – The tooth fairies. Those
little bastards go for the teeth
first!
Buy them all on DVD
Whoo ha!
Iron man kicks ass!
Every now and then a new comic book
movie comes along that really sets a
standard.
Robert Downey Jr. is the
best choice for
Tony Stark that
could have ever been. An
intellectual
terminator with a bad
attitude and a battery up his ass.
There is a lot to contend with this
year,
the dark knight being an
obvious favorite. Iron man is a
solid movie with a solid story, a
definite keeper for the old DVD
collection.
5
stars
Best bit – Captured by the Iraqis,
told to build a missile but build’s
Iron man prototype.
Brilliant and strange comedy
starring
Jack Black,
Mos Def and
Danny Glover. A run down video store
decides to make their own versions
of classic movies. These movies are
classic slap dash creations based on
famous VHS video’s. Very funny, very
watch able. I must admit I’ve
watched it about 6 times. Some
genius scenes but I must say I’m not
a fan of the old sentimental BS so
the end was a bit of a let down.
Overall a brilliant piece of unique
comedy.
4 stars
Best bit – The
Ghostbusters remake.
Hilarious! I am the gate keeper. Are
you the key master? Do you want to
put your key in me? Hahahah!
Brothers
Coen do it again with this
Altman styled comedy that’s about a
couple of halfwits getting hold of
what they think is secret government
information, and how they attempt to
blackmail the owner. Chrome dome
weirdo
John Malkovich is brilliant
in this film, obviously they had
more money than
Mutant Chronicles.
An interesting, different
comedy/thriller with a pretty cool
twist (No spoilers please) You wont
be disappointed. Oh and
Brad Pitt is
in it, Dumbass!
5
stars
Best Moment – In the car when
Malkovich thumps
Pitt!
Brad Pitt is
really good at squinting!
Disco ! Disco! If you have ever
met one of those Israeli trance
hippies then you will really be able
to relate to the
Zohan. One of the
funniest movies ever made. Yes I
said it, its not everyone’s taste
but it certainly is mine. Hilarious
situations and
Adam Sandler really
got the character down to a T. I’ve
actually met people like this,
without the super powers of coarse.
John Turturro was also great as the
Phantom. The story follows an
Israeli anti-terrorist that wants to
move to New York and cut hair for
Paul Mitchell. He wants to make the
world silky smooth! Hahaha.
Hilarious ! Don’t miss it. The best
Adam Sandler movie ever!
5
stars
Best bit – Playing beach ball with a
hand grenade!
Will
Ferrel returns in this retro 70’s
basketball movie. The story
follows the same plot that so many
sports comedies fall into. Looser
team works really hard to win some
competition at some point, you know
the drill. But I guess with this
type of movie, its not the plot or
the intricacy of the story, its the
humor that counts. And
Semi Pro is
full of that.
Ferrel is a funny guy,
we cant ignore that, and
Semi Pro is
one of his funniest. Also great
appearances from
Woody Harrelson and
Will Arnett. Very entertaining and
some great 70’s styling.
4
stars
wasn't as good as
dodgeball.
Best bit – When they are playing
pong in the changing room and
Farrel
tells them to turn that infernal
contraption off! Sorry, I found it
funny because my dad used to say the
same thing when I was playing pong
for to long as a kid. Giving away my
age now!
Buy them all on DVD
The worst movies of 2008
Why
oh why! Lord why? Why did they
have to let
George Lucas loose on
the
4th Indy movie. I
mean weren’t the star wars pre-quals
enough motivation to never let the
guy make another movie ever again? I
mean what’s he going to F$&K up
next,
Back to the future? At what
point did he decide that
Indy would
be called Henry during most of the
film? And at what point did they
decide that
Indy would survive a
hydrogen bomb being dropped on him
by hiding in a refrigerator? These
are pretty simple questions Mr.
Lucas. Which you’ve probably never
heard because your surrounded by
brown nosing yes men. Not you Steven
Spielberg, I’m sure you where just
finishing your contract so you could
retire without having to listen to
Georges wining about Indy vs the
aliens for another 20years.
Mr Lucas
you have attempted to rune my
childhood and you nearly succeeded.
I hope your happy.
1
star
Worst moment – The Alien’s (I mean
come on! This is Indy not Mulder)
What
a shame it is when a
James Bond film
lets you down.
Daniel Craig is
an excellent
James Bond, probably
the best since
Sean Connery. Quantum
of Solace has everything going for
it. Great car chases, eye popping
action sequences and beautiful
bond
babes. But, and this is a really big
but! It’s boring! I think, they
should have named it James Bore
quantum of sleep induction. I don’t
know why but I just didn’t care or
really bother to think about what
was going on in the story. The
villain was a weakling and there
where no cool
bond gadgets. It seems
to me that every
Bond
film has a
piece that stays in your memory.
Remember the bit from
Gold Finger
when James is on the laser cutting
block and his Jaffers are about to
get burned to a crisp. Now that was
cool! And the bit in
Casino Royal
where his Balls are smashed when
he’s tied to that chair. Ok they
didn’t really need to put
Bonds Iron
Balls in danger again to sell
tickets but they could have come up
with some kind of cool plot line.
Instead they stuck with a boring
plot and boring dialogue. I think
they should go back to using the
original
Ian Fleming stories and
fire whoever is writing it at the
moment. The Borne films are much
better!
2
stars
Worst moment – The part in the
middle, that I missed because I was
more interested in my empty popcorn
box.
What
the hell is
Mike Myers’s problem!!
My god what a load of horseshit!
This is probably the stupidest movie
I have ever seen, next to Date Movie
(That was just offensive). It should
be called “Austin Powers 4
without the humor”. I mean what
the hell does this guy think of his
audience? That they are all mindless
Mongoloid’s with maple syrup in
their humor glands? This movie is an
insult to all that is good and
wholesome. Don’t go see it, don’t
rent it on dvd, and for the love of
god don’t
buy it. Unless you like
that sort of thing of coarse. In
that case be my
guest.
Worst
Moment – I think pretty much the
whole thing! Oh, and all the lame
ass singing!
0
stars
Marky
Mark and the funky bunch
Wahlberg
wines and
grunts his way through this
action disaster.
Max Payne the movie
is based on a classic action video
game of the
same name, and lends the
question of “Has there ever been a
good video game movie? Ever?”
remember the Mario Brother’s? This
boring adaptation is full of classy
photography but lacks any sort of
decent storyline. A slow story is
slowed down even more by too many
slow motion action sequences,
intended to simulate the “Bullet
time function in the video game”.
This really becomes a drag after a
while and I cant help but feel like
I’m watching a “Slow motion” pack
shot from a really expensive
disposable razor commercial. Stick
to commercials John Moore !!! Or,
try not to use washed up "wigger"
rapper come pretend-actor’s for the
lead role in your movies.
1 star
Only because of the
photography and lighting. The art
design was pretty good too!
Worst
Bit – No action till 50min in
BORING!!
Boring
! Boring ! Boring ! Boring! Boring!
These are just some of the words
that where going through my head
when I watched
drillbit Taylor. Old
broken nose
Owen Wilson is back
again with his latest offering of
rotten tripe. Story follows the same
old setup of "Loser Idiot takes a
bunch of loser idiot kids and
teaches them to be proud of being
looser idiots". This movie is not
funny, there is not one scene that
is even memorable, in fact I don’t
even remember what it was about. I
do remember not laughing once during
the entire waste of time this movie
took up. They could have fed
starving people in Africa instead of
making this movie. Where is the
justice in the world?
1
star
only because
Owen Wilson seems like
a pretty straight up kind of guy.
Worst
bit – The whole damn mess of a
thing!
I
didn’t expect to be disappointed but
I was.
Sorry, but I recon this was a load
of crud! The storyline didn’t really
make me want to care if
hulk got
taken out or not. In fact I was kind
of routing for
Tim Roth, who I
thought was the movies only saving
grace as the villain.
Roth is a master in his
field and could probably play the
part of a bowl of rice and get an
Oscar. An overall flat performance
from
Ed Norton, not what we have
come to expect after years of good
work. Although every time I see that
dickhead
Toby Maguire who thinks
he’s
spiderman I want to pop him in
the chops. Lets just hope
Ed doesn’t
follow in
Toby’s footsteps and
become an annoying mommy’s boy who
thinks he’s a super hero. 2
stars
Worst
moment – The end, I just didn’t care
if
hulk lived or died.
Battlefield
Earth meets,
Seaquest Dsv meets,
Dune the tv series?
This movie was hopeless. It must
have cost about $50 to make by
breaking into the set of
Babylon 5
at night and doing temporary
modifications to the costumes and
sets, downgrading the cameras and
making sure its all back together by
morning. They must have spent 45 of
those dollars on
John Malkovich to
get his head waxed so they can use
him to reflect light around someone
else's movie studio. Utter tripe!
Don’t bother, not even for
Ron
Pearlman.
0
stars
Worst
bit – The sets (It really does look
like something from a cheap sci-fi
series.)
Watched
first 5 min, turned it off
immediately
because I didn’t want my mind
polluted with this abomination of
one of my favorite movies franchises
ever.
Alien and
Aliens where
legendary movies.
Alien 3 was a good
movie, it was just let down by
inferior cgi and superimposed
looking aliens. Alien resurrection
was ok but a bit crap. Then at all
went downhill. Aliens was great the
first
predator was great. But Aliens vs
Predator is certainly not great.
And
Aliens vs Predator 2 “Requiem” is
a total load of old bollards. Well I
can only guess that from the first 5
min, because I refused to poison my
mind with it.
unrated
I'm
not going to fry my brain by even
thinking about this movie. It
doesn't exist as far as I'm
concerned.
Worst
bit – The first 5 min.
Well that's the roundup for
this year.
It will be interesting to see what
emerges on the silver screen in
2009. A couple of movies I'm looking
forward to are Twilight and Mickey
Rourke's comeback movie "The
Wrestler". Which took 35 days to
shoot and cost next to nothing to
produce, but won big at this years
CFCA and Golden Lion awards.
Apparently Mickey Rourke was paid
nothing for the part, He did it for
Free! Ha! well done Mickey!
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written by the TVterrorist and are
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